Well folks, I don't know if you know this or not, but today (October 16th, for those surfing my archives 3 months from now) is "Boss Appreciation Day.". Another fun fact (of which this blog will be chock full of), is that yesterday was national "Blog About Poverty Day". No lie. So, as I am sure you understand, I have much to cover in this blog. However, I have decided to shirk my responsibility to blog about these two things in any kind of seriousness and offer you this instead --
The Economy. The very mention of it sends waves of uncertainty and unwanted fear through our souls. Due to these thoughts, which increasingly crawl into our heads throughout the day, sitting mind-numbingly in our cute lil cubicles, we are forced to constantly wonder if and when our boss will drop the axe on the neck of our job. Finally, a light shines from heaven! It is National Boss' Appreciation Day! You have a chance to impress this manager of yours and keep yourself from being ravaged by the pains of poverty.
So, now that this golden opportunity has presented itself, how does one impress his boss in a memorable way? Baked goods? Not bad, plus everyone enjoys. Funny YouTube link? NO!!! This will only go to show that you have enough time while at work to surf these videos and while the intention of giggles is good, proving that you are expendable is counterproductive. What about flowers? Again, this is appreciate your boss day and not give your boss the wrong impression about your feelings day. This goes double for you, fellas!
I have another solution. Impress him with your knowledge. Not just any knowledge but helpful facts that your boss should know but probably doesn't. These will help you to sound very knowledgable AND witty. Quite memorable indeed and a kind thing to do. You don't want your boss to look foolish do you? I will list some of these helpful yet juicy tidbits below:
1.) Money isn't made of paper. It is made out of cotton.
2.) The dot above the letter "I" is called a tittle. (Important not to giggle here.)
3.) 40% of McDonalds profits come from the sale of Happy Meals.
4.) The 'spot' on 7-UP comes from it's inventor, who had red eyes. He was an albino.
5.) 315 enteries in Webster's 1996 edition of the dictionary were misspelled.
6.) Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
7.) Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time. Hence, multitasking was born.
Now, you don't want to sound like a stuffed shirt here. Feel free to drop a few on the more humorous ones in there too:
1.) A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuosly from the bottom of the glass to the top.
2.) Most lipstick contains fish scales.
3.) Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode. (Important for male bosses only. Also, for a male employee to share this will cause an unspoken bond to occur, ensuring you will be around as long as your boss. Same for the ladies because if you know something like this, a man will never lose faith in you. Ever.)
4.) There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
5.) The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" movie was a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
6.) The phrase "Rule of Thumb" is derived from an old English law that stated you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
7.) Chewing gum while peeling onions will stop you from crying.
8.) (Use at your own discretion) Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.
Now you have the tools necessary to to leave a lasting impression on that hard nosed boss of yours. Not only have you enlightened them in a non-threatening way but you have valued them by taking time out to help them be a better person. Way to go! Looks like you won't be getting that pink colored check after all. Good luck, model employee!
So there you have it. I have blogged on Boss Appreciation Day and offered thoughts on preventing yourself from slipping into a life of poverty. Wow. Good blog. Meat and taters. Got any thoughts on weird facts, your boss or the tragedy of poverty? Comments go below. Your thoughts are encouraged! Love ya Rick and Chuck (my bosses)!!
~E
Anyone can view this Erik A | October 17th, 2008 @visitor LOL! Thanks friend! I may have to use that for Living Free. |
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 | October 16th, 2008 Man who stands on toilet is high on pot...a little Confucius for your confusion |